me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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