So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
