I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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