They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
