thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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