and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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