Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
