This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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