Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
