The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I think your dad took our porno
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
