Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I could fuck to npr.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
