the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
