im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
