gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We are all done wearing pants today
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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