I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
