Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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