Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Sext me about skeletons
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
