We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
