Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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