Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Dignity is for republicans.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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