I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
