Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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