don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
birth control should be required to get into college
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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