we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
