so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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