I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
