she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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