I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
