We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
