I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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