Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
