There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
