OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
