How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
