It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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