i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
