is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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