Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
