Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
