I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
