their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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