Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
