she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
