Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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