none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
They should really pass out barf bags in church
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
