sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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