Its about making memories worth repressing
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
