Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
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