This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
