i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
