remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Don't make out with my wife yet
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
